It’s time for Conversations with Crystal! The B(l)ack to School Series is a time to engage in conversations around issues that impact Black students. Tune into a dialogue with Tymia Morgan, an educator in Kansas City Public Schools. We chat about the myth and dangers of colorblindness, what it means for Black students to have pride in themselves and why students need grace.

On any given day, I find myself engrossed in storytelling. As a child, writing in my journal was one of my favorite things. It was an outlet, but it was also a place where I captured the happenings of my life. Stories give us insight into others and ourselves. They have the ability to inspire, spark conversation and teach. I recently sat down with my grandmother and began to capture her story. While I wish I would have done this years ago, I’m happy to have the opportunity to do so now.

I’m spending the next seven days telling stories of moments that have shaped me in some ways. Some include pictures, while others are reflections. You’re invited to #ShareYourStory.

Growing up, my relationship with my hair was complicated.  God bless my mother, but styling my hair wasn’t exactly her thing, as evidenced by the picture day photos that I can laugh about now.  Glasses, acne and thick hair? What a combination.   Relaxers were routine and as a child, Just4Me was the move.   Once I was able to work as a teenager, getting my hair relaxed and styled professionally was a necessary expense.  

As a college student, some friends of mine were in the process of transitioning to rockin’ natural hair or were already there.  I could never see myself wearing natural hair and now I take the time to reflect on why.  In different ways, the message that straight and relaxed hair is better came at me in different ways.  Has anyone ever called you “nappy headed” and it made you happy?

On August 23, 2017, I walked into a barbershop with a photo of how I wanted my hair to look.  Since 2010, I’ve rocked a variety of styles, including a pixie cut and asymmetrical bob, but not all the way off.  I didn’t necessarily refer to my haircut as the big chop; my goal was to keep my personal maintenance as simple as possible since I was eight months pregnant.  After skydiving, cutting my hair that short was one of the most freeing experiences and it was that moment that my natural hair journey began.

As I write this post in July 2020, I can say with confidence that I have my twist out down to a science.  I know that I have to be in a certain mental space to do it from beginning to end.  I have a set of products that work and I can be confident in how I look and feel with my natural hair.  My journey to embracing the full thickness of this mane is for my daughter as well.  I love that she loves her hair, but please send thoughts and prayers for the daily battles we have as I style it.

What does this mean for the work I look to do in supporting educators who work with our Black students in schools, non-profits, community centers and a variety of other spaces?  It means that as we see Black students for their full selves, their hair cannot be excluded.  Yes, a Black person can have one style on a Tuesday and wear a completely different style by Friday.  The ways in which we wear our hair are a simple expression of who we are.  While the question of “Can I touch your hair?” sounds harmless, it can often make a person feel like their hair is on display for a show.  They also don’t need people to tell them how to fix their hair in ways that make others comfortable and they certainly shouldn’t be discriminated against for something as simple as a hairstyle.

What’s next? What can you do?

Shirley’s Kitchen Cabinet is leading the efforts to get the Crown Act passed in the state of Kansas. Choose the ways in which you will help #ProtectTheCrown and work to eliminate hair discrimination in schools and the workplace. Learn more on what you can do by visiting this site: https://www.shirleyskitchencabinet.org/crownact

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Welcome to the world, baby girl!

No matter how a person earns the title of Mommy, it is a transformative experience. Mine came in October 2017 as I gave birth to a 7 lb. baby girl. I ended up feeling contractions in the morning as I began to get ready for the day and by 9 AM, my husband and I were at the hospital. 12 hours later, our human arrived!

As I reflect on the moment when I first laid eyes on her, I think I was truly in awe. This person grew inside of me. Weeks before her arrival, I had a dream and saw an image of a little brown skinned baby with pigtails. Safe to say that dream has come to fruition.

In an instant, life shifted and every action was dictated by a person who couldn’t speak for herself. My daughter made me truly consider my legacy, as well as my actions on a daily basis. I watch her imitate the way I cross my legs and hear her talk to her dolls and toys in the same way she is spoken to. While it is a scary thought at times, it is truly an honor to be Mari’s Mommy.

Making it plain:
Throughout my pregnancy, I learned about the high rate of Black women who experienced complications, including death during childbirth and this was not lost on me. Educate yourself on Black maternal mortality and above all, listen to Black women: https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/wellness/story/calls-change-26-year-black-woman-dies-childbirth-71698417

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