Growing up, my relationship with my hair was complicated. God bless my mother, but styling my hair wasn’t exactly her thing, as evidenced by the picture day photos that I can laugh about now. Glasses, acne and thick hair? What a combination. Relaxers were routine and as a child, Just4Me was the move. Once I was able to work as a teenager, getting my hair relaxed and styled professionally was a necessary expense.
As a college student, some friends of mine were in the process of transitioning to rockin’ natural hair or were already there. I could never see myself wearing natural hair and now I take the time to reflect on why. In different ways, the message that straight and relaxed hair is better came at me in different ways. Has anyone ever called you “nappy headed” and it made you happy?
On August 23, 2017, I walked into a barbershop with a photo of how I wanted my hair to look. Since 2010, I’ve rocked a variety of styles, including a pixie cut and asymmetrical bob, but not all the way off. I didn’t necessarily refer to my haircut as the big chop; my goal was to keep my personal maintenance as simple as possible since I was eight months pregnant. After skydiving, cutting my hair that short was one of the most freeing experiences and it was that moment that my natural hair journey began.
As I write this post in July 2020, I can say with confidence that I have my twist out down to a science. I know that I have to be in a certain mental space to do it from beginning to end. I have a set of products that work and I can be confident in how I look and feel with my natural hair. My journey to embracing the full thickness of this mane is for my daughter as well. I love that she loves her hair, but please send thoughts and prayers for the daily battles we have as I style it.
What does this mean for the work I look to do in supporting educators who work with our Black students in schools, non-profits, community centers and a variety of other spaces? It means that as we see Black students for their full selves, their hair cannot be excluded. Yes, a Black person can have one style on a Tuesday and wear a completely different style by Friday. The ways in which we wear our hair are a simple expression of who we are. While the question of “Can I touch your hair?” sounds harmless, it can often make a person feel like their hair is on display for a show. They also don’t need people to tell them how to fix their hair in ways that make others comfortable and they certainly shouldn’t be discriminated against for something as simple as a hairstyle.
What’s next? What can you do?
Shirley’s Kitchen Cabinet is leading the efforts to get the Crown Act passed in the state of Kansas. Choose the ways in which you will help #ProtectTheCrown and work to eliminate hair discrimination in schools and the workplace. Learn more on what you can do by visiting this site: https://www.shirleyskitchencabinet.org/crownact
